Throughout our entire lives, desi myths have only been an addition to the endless list of things that won’t let us live peacefully. We’ve lived in continuous fear keh humara kadd chota na reh jaye if someone jumps over us while we’re in deep sleep. Myths like these were invented by our parents to instill fear in our brains about living life like a carefree person. Every now and then, we remember them like they were taught to us yesterday. They’ve even become a part of our usual routine. Let me jog some nostalgic memories through these myths by listing a few down for you all to remember. Who knows, some of them might actually work? Just kidding — unless?
Chai peenay se rung kala ho jata hai!
I’ve always pondered over the logic behind this theory? Black tea = black skin tone? Ask your brown parents to clarify, please. Anyhow, maybe that’s why my friends would rather spill the tea than drink it. Let’s not even talk about Desi obssession with eurocentric beauty standards. The colonial hangover in our society will never cease to surprise me.
Kenchi khaali chalane se maa baap ke bheech laraiyan hoti hein.
Imagine a tailor and their partner’s condition right now. I know some of us might have actually tested this myth to witness if it really works. Or is it just me? I swear I’m only a bit of a sadist.
Hichki aa rahi hai? Zaroor koi yaad ker raha hoga.
This myth doesn’t work if you’re lonely, sad and single, which I can guarantee all of us probably are now that we’re in A Level *cries while eating instant cup noodle*.
Kali billi raasta kaatay tou din bura guzarta hai.
The thing with this myth is that it doesn’t really matter whether a black cat would cross my path or not because nonetheless, my day tends to get worse by every passing minute. Yes, it’s that bad. But in all honesty, black cats really do look like they can acquire your child and sell them to Satan.
Mehndi ka rung jitna dark ho, saas utna pyaar kerti hai.
As a child, I remember always putting on henna and thinking my mother-in-law will love me immensely. Now, I don’t even like the smell of henna and I’ve realised nobody loves me. Haha! But if you plan on marrying someone and your saas actually does love you in the future, congratulations! P.S.: she’s probably pretending though.
Zubaan daanton mein aajaye tou matlab koi burai ker raha hai.
Honestly, in today’s society, all people have to say are bad things about one another. If we take this myth into consideration, our tongues should’ve gone sore and bloody by now.
P.S.: can we just take a moment to appreciate Hassan Minaj’s existence?
Handi mein haath maar ker khao tou shaadi wale din baarish hoti hai.
Apparently, weather forecasts don’t mean anything if you belong to a desi family. One has to rely on their habit of licking off from the handi to make it rain on their wedding day. So romantic, if I say so myself.
Pa’on hilanay se shaitan jhula leta hai.
Looks like we are all accompanying the devil into hell. Honestly, I’d take that over carrying the emotional baggage of high schoolers any day, simultaneously having fun doing it. And so is the devil while swinging on our feet. Maybe we can part our legs and make him fall? A gateway to heaven, if you ask me.
Raat ko ziada perfume lagane se jinn peeche par jaate hein.
At this point, I can only say, bhai koi tou peechay pare ga na! But all jokes aside, I still kind of believe this myth so don’t mind me if I smell at night. Just trying to lure the jinns out.
Seeti bajanay se ghar mein nahoosat phelti hai.
This is one myth I can accept because I don’t really know how to blow a whistle. But also, our parents already kind of consider us a nahoosat, regardless of whether we blow a whistle or not. Apparently, every street of Pakistan is filled with nahoosat considering men can’t keep their whistles to themselves whenever a woman walks past them.
In a nutshell, these are some of the myths that our desi parents narrated to us if they ‘thought’ we were misbehaving, even when we were actually doing something as simple as just swinging our legs while sitting. I’m sure a lot of these have some kind of story behind them. I guess this was an indirect call-out post for all desi parents. These myths have scarred us for life, instilling illogical fears about everything from marriage to jinns at a very young age. Stop! It’s the 21st century. Let your kids live!