My life is a compilation of awkwardness and embarrassment. I don’t remember if I was always like this or if A levels has made me into a mushy mess but its not like that matters anymore, does it? The awkward moments I experience are usually always the same but with different people and no matter how many times it happens, I’ll never learn how to avoid them.
- When Your High Five is Left Hanging:
You all must have experienced this at least a couple of times in your life. You’re in a large group of friends and you’re all laughing and having the time of your life. That’s when you decide that hey, this is an amazing time to go in for a high five! Well, seven out of ten times, it isn’t an amazing time to go in for one. Either your high five is barely out of their view or you didn’t screech the words, “HIGH FIVE!” loud enough. Either way, you’re left waiting for them to notice you and most of the time a large number of witnesses will see and remember your embarrassing moment.
- Saying Hi To Someone:
How in the world can basic etiquette throw you into an awkward spot?! Like, you’re walking around and you spot that one guy you talk to online. You say hi and decide to wave at them only for them to ignore it and walk right by. Now I’m not sure if they do it on purpose, but the amount of heartache and embarrassment I receive from that basic exchange is enough to throw me back towards the introverted side of the social spectrum. Next time please tell me if I am allowed to greet you in real life.
- Messing Up Your Urdu Grammar:
Hey look, the reason why I prefer to speak in English isn’t because I’m trying to show off how absolutely cool I am. I am cool! But its not because I speak English. The real reason I speak it is because speaking Urdu is like committing social uninstall for me. Every time I have to say something, I mess up the grammar and there’s usually a whole crowd there to notice it and point it out to me. Why the hell do inanimate objects need gender anyways? It’s just all so much more confusing for me.
- Accidentally Spraying Spit On Someone’s Face:
Don’t you just hate it when you’re really excited and you’re talking real fast and then you physically feel the spit escape your face cave? You can see it travelling all the way from your mouth to the other person’s face. You can see them flinch slightly and try ever so hard to ignore the fact that they have saliva on their face. At that moment, I’m torn between whether I should be shameless and continue or just beg for forgiveness for hours at end.
- Having Your Voice Crack When The Teacher Calls On You:
You’re just sitting in class sort of dazing off and then an explosion of a voice interrupts you. That’s not a demon, that’s just your teacher. And this always follows with a question aimed at you. Already kind of freaked out and dazed, your voice either comes out barely a whisper or you can have an entire class hear you shriek out your answer and hear your voice crack in awful ways.
Let it be known that if you relate to these, you are not alone. We’re all awkward here.
by Khadija Niazi
Media and Publications Society President